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Know how to help your anxious or depressed teenager

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In March, when fears of Covid-19 began to rise and states across the country began to pass shutdown measures, no one really knew how long it could last. Many parents probably hoped that controlling the virus would be a short-term endeavor, allowing their children to return to school and to normalcy as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, the opposite turned out to be true. Eight months later, schools are still closed, social distancing is still a buzzword, and children and adults live in isolation, economic frustration, and fears about the future.

Pandemic stressors cause experts to worry about adolescent mental health, in particular, Centers for Disease Control (CDC) report finding that 25% have considered suicide this year alone.

For parents concerned about their teen’s mental health in the midst of this global crisis, adolescent mental health clinicians have tips for identifying and addressing challenges you may be witnessing firsthand.

The impact of the pandemic on adolescents

“As a clinician working with many adolescents each week, they continue to express a heightened sense of isolation and frustration with persistent restrictions and the inability to engage in activities of life in a ‘normal’ way. “”, Licensed psychologist Nicole Beurkens, PhD, CNS, de Horizons Development Resource Center recently said.

She explained that these teens go through the disappointment of not being able to experience things the way they hoped and expected. The start of their senior year of high school or freshman year of college now looks a lot different than it should have been. They miss special events like graduation and coming home. They cannot attend football games with their friends. Nothing is like they spent their entire childhood anticipating it would be.

These teens, Beurkens said, are stressed and anxious about having to navigate things like virtual school, visiting online-only colleges and what the admissions process will look like for them. Not to mention the fact that family members and friends will stay healthy.

The result has been that many adolescents feel left out of their developmental journey – and lack in-person access to their peer groups to help them overcome this.

All of this led to what the CDC report identified as higher rates of anxiety and depression in adolescents today, even more so than in adults. These struggles can be particularly pronounced in adolescents with pre-existing anxiety or depression, according to Beurkens.

“Although they may previously have been able to manage depression or low-grade anxiety on their own, they may need the help of medication and / or psychotherapy to help manage the pressure of Covid,” he said. -she explains.

Know the signs

Sherry Skyler Kelly, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and clinical neuropsychologist who has worked with adolescents for over 25 years. She said the following may be signs that a teen may have mental difficulties and need outside help:

  • Changing habits – like sleeping, eating, bathing, exercising
  • Sleep a lot more or sleep very little
  • Change in academic performance – falling behind, not completing assignments
  • Change in social life – don’t talk to friends
  • Secret
  • I’m not talking to you
  • Mood change – crying, being angry, getting easily upset, or lacking in affect and withdrawing from activities that brought them some happiness

If you think your child is suffering from depression or anxiety, Kelly says it’s a good idea to take stock of the stressors in your life that may be impacting your child. Have you lost your job or your business? Are you facing financial stress? Diseases? Any other issues with having everyone at home?

Entering this conversation with an awareness of the factors at play can help you have a more honest and open conversation with your teenager.

“Determine – ahead of time – what to expect from this discussion,” Kelly said. “What do you want to get out of it and what do you want to change?” Be motivated in this business. “

In other words, know what you hope to accomplish. Is it for your child to talk to you? Is it up to them to change their behavior? Is it to get them for advice or medical care?

“This will also prepare you for the common teenage response, ‘Ugh – What do you want from me?’ Kelly said.

She encouraged parents to focus on feelings rather than behaviors during this conversation. And ask yourself and your child, “What would be best?”

“It’s a weird way to put it, but it’s open-ended and it’s a good place to start.”

If during this conversation your teenager expresses thoughts of harming himself, it’s time to seek immediate help – contact your child’s pediatrician or consider taking your child to the emergency room if the threat seems imminent. .

Kelly further identified these behaviors as reasons to seek outside help as soon as possible:

  • Drug or alcohol use.
  • Any suicidal idea, talk about suicide.
  • Any self-injurious behavior (cutting), causing oneself to vomit
  • Gambling behaviors that appear to be addictive: they can’t disengage or spend too much time
  • Significant changes in mood and behavior
  • Do not sleep

Find help

“Parents can first contact their trusted pediatrician, who is a wealth of information and support,” Beurkens said of your next steps after talking to your teenager.

“In an emergency, you can go to your local emergency room or text TALK on the crisis text line at 741-741,” she explained.

If you’re looking for a specialist, Kelly said your state psychology association should have a reference list for adolescent psychologists. And she added that many states have set up crisis lines for low-cost or free mental health support through their public health departments.

“When a teenager’s daily functioning is severely affected by their anxiety or depression, medication may be indicated,” Beurkens said. “If they are no longer able to find joy in experiences that once brought them joy, or if they experience panic attacks and debilitating anxiety, or if they are unable to stand up and to start the day, medication can help.

Kelly and Beurkens, however, agreed that therapy should accompany pharmaceutical treatment.

“It is important to provide patient support, not just medication. Drugs won’t solve the real problems below the surface of behaviors, ”Kelly explained.

Beurkens said this was especially true for teenagers.

“While drugs can help balance our brain chemistry to stabilize our ability to function in the world, therapy can help us better understand how to operate in the world, from a social, emotional and spiritual perspective.” , explained Beurkens.

She said therapy can help teens better understand their place in family dynamics, while also providing them with tools to better overcome challenges as they arise.

While all teens with anxiety or depression can benefit from therapy, both experts agreed that medication should be determined on a case-by-case basis.

“The drugs can be absolutely helpful, even for teens who never experienced mental health issues before the pandemic,” Beurkens said. “The best person to make a decision about medication is an experienced psychiatrist, especially one whose practice focuses on children and adolescents. Parents can also seek advice from their pediatrician. “

Many teens and adults find relief from symptoms of anxiety and depression with therapy alone – but there is no shame in adding medication if indicated by symptoms and distress. of your child.

Help a teenager who does not want to be helped

Teenagers are of course notorious for their own stubbornness. If your teenager refuses to get help, Kelly suggested trying to explain to him why he is resisting. “Maybe this is the kind of help, or misconceptions about care?”

Talking about things with your teenager can help you find a compromise. Of course, Kelly said there are certain situations that require medical attention even if your child refuses, including threats of suicide and self-harm.

Aside from that, Beurkens said it’s important to keep talking to your child, letting them know that you are there to support and love them unconditionally, even if they refuse help. Hopefully by keeping the lines of communication open, they will eventually find each other.

“If as a parent you are struggling with your teenager’s depression and anxiety, I highly recommend that you seek therapeutic services for yourself,” she suggested.

It’s also a great way to model what help looks like for your teenager.

As we move into the winter months, with less daylight and less sunshine, increased mental strain is possible for everyone. Beurkens wanted to encourage all families to spend time outdoors, even when the weather gets colder.

“We need to help teens remember that they are powerful and have the power to shape the life they want to live,” Beurkens said. “Therapy, sometimes with the support of the right medications and the loving presence of family and friends, can help us navigate these stormy waters together, so that our teenage clients and children can begin to regain a sense of inner calm. . “

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